Innocence and Bliss

Sometimes, it is good enough to know you have been through something, than actually experiencing it.

With winter peaking, temperature here was falling by the hour when disaster struck. I got up early last monday to find my jacket stuck to the heater pipe, and a gaping hole formed in it in the process. I guess i had carelessly swung it across, the previous evening. Having no jacket to wear, i struggled the rest of the week on my way to the office.

Colleagues later in the week decided to do some shopping at the factory outlets 70 miles off our city. Come saturday afternoon, we were on our way to the outlets. After an hours drive, we reached the place with a slight drizzle accompaining us. After about four hours of running around shops we decided it was time to head back home. I had found myself a Jacket after scavenging quite a few outlets and was only too pleased to put it on immediately.

We were ahead of schedule and hence decided to visit a temple that was on our way back home. The unplanned detour would take away from us 2 hours of time, which at that time we didnt know we required. Nevertheless, excited about the sumptuous food at the temple, we zoomed our way to the temple, with frequent showers keeping the wipers busy.

Curd rice sitting steady after the meal at the temple, a sudden announcement warned : "Warning ! Freezing rain ! Please be on guard! ". I had no idea what a freezing rain meant until the droplets of rain hit me on my face, freezing on impact ! Running into the car, i cuddled into the back seat, with the public address system still shouting hoarse asking people to drive safely. We started towards our city when the clock ticked 7:30pm.

With five of us in the car, it was only too easy for me to doze off while the others entertained each other. My new found jacket was warm enough to support my cause. After listening to the discussion about the sudden change in events, the curd rice had worked it's magic on me. With conversations slowly giving way for a sound sleep, my decreasing consiousness was aggravated by the shopping i had done earlier in the day. In no time, i was sound asleep, unawares.

After what looked like a really long sleep, i woke up. Our car was neatly parked on the highway shoulder, with rain still pouring. With my mind only half awake, i asked my colleague : "Why have we stopped ? there isnt any traffic signal here!". I got a few glances, or that's all i could make out, but not a voice from anyone. Strange as i felt, my slumber got the better of me, and i went back to sleep. We reached our house, when i was woken up with a shudder. Walking into the house, i looked at my watch.

It read 1am. in sometime we were all asleep with noises outside i had never heard before.

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PS : Colleagues say we 'escaped death' twice that night, when our car lost control in the icy rain with near zero visibility, and skidded all over the state highway. The sudden storm was one of the worst in recent times.

I wouldn't know.

(.....did i mention i got a good bargain on my Jacket ?...well, yes i just did.)

Veggie Delight

My views on non-vegetarianism is not different from that of vegetarianism. Everyone has a right to choose their food in a buffet ! I needed a red twisted ear to choose mine, unfortunately.

"NO egg, NO meat, NO mushroom. Is there anything ?"...is my usual reply to the question "what would you like to have sir ?"... though grammatically incorrect, it is the only genuine and most direct way of asking a person what i want. Much of my energy over the next ten minutes is wasted in confirming with the waitress about the contents of a particular delicacy.

"One VEG Pizza, no egg, no meat (duh!), no mushroom.", the waitress would repeat confirming my order, with a slightly puzzled look on her face. May be she was wondering what ingredients to put in when it looked like i had asked her to take out everything except the pizza base. Ha ! she's lucky i stopped there, otherwise someone did mention even the cheese wasn't entirely "vegetarian" if one includes the process that is used to make them!

Of course one can't blame me for this, and i am only too happy not to hold myself responsible either. Many here find my display of vegetarianism offensive, but so do i when Yong Lee asks "NO egg also ?!!!" when i order for "VEG Fried rice, no egg". From where i come, a similar order would have been understood and assimilated in a jiffy while the hotel guy happily rakes in the moolah.

One has to be very clear while mentioning what one wants over here. The other day i had ordered a Veggie delight at subway, and asked the lady to "bake it" for me...( i forgot they say 'toast' )...the lady with a weird look, started filling in small pieces of what looked like dried meat!...puzzled i asked "hey i ordered a veg burger, that does not look like veg to me !"

lady: "me neither! it was kind of weird why you asked me to put bacon in a veggie burger!"
me : "eh ? i wanted it baked! not bacon!"
lady:"oh :D...."

Much of my shopping initially over here was based on thought and gumption ....

"PEPPPA-ROO-NEEE.....hmm, i think it's a kind of pepper they sell here....why does it look like carrot pieces though ? put it in, we'll ask the lady at the counter!"...

It's an odd concept - vegetarianism. i am doubly sure we are all born non-veggies of which some choose to be veggies; at least the stomach's sporty about the idea of a non-veg diet. As in its like owning a car that can do 150 mph while most would be ecstatic to reach 30 mph in bangalore. So while i get entangled into a leaf eating routine for the rest of my life and save the "crores" of goats and sheeps, my alter ego munches over the ones i "saved", in absolute bliss.

In due time i realized though, that it's a choice we make more than anything else that determines what we eat, and has nothing to do with whether we go to hell or heaven, if there was one in the first place!

As a kid, i was brainwashed and hand ironed into thinking that being a vegetarian was the only logical step in my eventful life as a human being. My grandmother was the veggie-cop at home who'd sniff around even the slightest smell off us, often ending up dissapointed on finding that it was my sock that needed washing more than my belly that needed cleansing.

My Granny had taken the veggie thingy way too personally ! It used to be an absolute entertainer to watch my grandmother use the choisest words in kannada, tamil, hindi and sometimes even in urdu to berate the fish seller who'd dare to lurk around on our street.

"Shiva shiva ! en thandyo belge belge ! badmaash ! nin maneg benki haaka !"
( What have you got ! you rabid thief ! hope someone sets your house on fire!"),
would come the volley of curses from my granny, while only 2 seconds ago she'd be chanting "Shiva shiva, paramaathma, olledaaglappa ellargu!" ( Dear Lord, let everyone live happily!)....the fisherboy would be at his wits' end to comprehend the reason for such a sudden outburst of anger.

while we used to enjoy rolling and lauging at the puzzled fish seller , we'd make sure our nose was tightly closed with a thick towel. I'd even tuck my nose into my t-shirt just to leave my hands free, so that i could point at the fish seller and roll in laughter. Unable to stand my granny's taunts he finally came up with a clever idea. He'd leave the fish box at the end of our street, walk to each and every house tapping their gates, shouting "MEEEN MEEEEN !!!"(fish!, fish!). It made his job all the more difficult considering that, earlier, propective customers on our street would come out to buy the fish at the smell of it rather than his shouts!"....and needless to say this change in his strategy gave us bouts of laughter even "non-stop nonsense" could'nt manage. Our neighbour, an american lady on tour, must have wondered why he taps at her gate and calls her 'Mean ! Mean !' when she had no recollection of ever offending him!

Granny used to go to great lengths to protect the 'sanctity' of our place and the surroundings by trying to keep it free from anything non-living as possible. I had secretly vowed to sleep less while she was around, lest she take me for dead and throw me out unceremoniously like the dead rodent brought in by the neighborhood cat. She'd not let anyone into the kitchen if she got an inkling of doubt that he/she was a non-veggie. Considering that my kitchen was a place i frequented most while at home, i could not imagine not being let into it because i laid hands on something non-veg!....the fear did sink in well!

Nonetheless, it did not deter me to use this idea to irritate granny whenever the opportunity came up that had the potential to disprove her theory. One day i was watching this kannada movie called "bedara kannappa" ( kannappa , the hunter). I pretty much was enjoying the movie until a scene in it required the protagonist to present Lord Shiva with something to eat. I was quite sure that as always it would be the usual offering of milk with some fruits and stuff, but fate took a different turn that day.
out of the blue, kannappa shouted in the movie,

Kannappa : " Oh Lord, please accept this dead rabbit as my offering to you and bless my soul!"

Shocked out of my skin, i immediately turned towards my granny for an answer, who looked as puzzled as the fisherboy was when my granny had chosen him to use her huge vocab of curses. She had convinced me that not only were humans born veggies, Lord Shiva was a veggie by birth too !...now that's taking things too far, one might argue.

I knew granny was thinking fast, so i decided to play spoil sport..

me : "nodaajji !!!, shiva goo maamsa thinnok aasey, adikke kannappa kottidanna thagond bitta! Iga parvathi shiva na aDuge maneg sersolla !"
(Look granny ! Lord Shiva happily accepted the dead rabbit, now parvati will not let him in her kitchen!")

offended and beyond speech, granny screamed to my mother,
"nodey ee jaggi ododanna bittu TV mundgaDe kuthidaane !"
(Look, your son's watching TV instead of Studying!)

with a badly twisted red ear i spent the rest of the day reading "ajanta caves" with leaves for dinner. Smartness isn't an asset if one does not use it smartly, i thought of myself, yet thanking kannappa just for the heck of it.

My Questioning spirit somehow didn't appeal to the gods either, and i'd innocently get into things i'd rather be away from.

It was a time, when teachers didn't expect me to be able to count more than 10 and clapped for spelling my name correctly. My intense liking for dosas is a fact many can't say they dont know. One day i had been to this neighbour aunty's house while she was busy making dosas. How could have i resisted that ?! i pestered aunty to give me some too.

aunty : "Nodu jaggi, idu special dosey, nim maneli maadodilla...sari na ?" ( This is a special dosa they dont make at your house)
me: "sari, dosey ne taane aadre ?"...( but it's dosa only right ?)
aunty: "howdu, aadre special...parvaagilva ?" ..( yeah, but it's a special dosa, is it ok ?)
me:"sari" ...(ok!)

after two hot dosas, which tasted way different from the usual ones mother made at home, i decided that it was time my mother learnt to make such dosas and went back home.

Me: "amma, ivath aunty maneli dose thinde...aunty special dosey andru" ( I ate special dosa in aunty's house today)
mother:" yaav aunty no ? padma aunty na ?" (Which aunty ?!!! padma aunty ??!!!)
me :"Howdu, dosey chenaagithu!" ( Yeah ! it was great !)
mother:"special antha heldra ?"( Did she mention 'special' ?) ...now concerned

me:"howdu. num maneli maadolvanthe....yaake ?" ( Yeah !, and also that we don't make it at our house.....why, may i ask ?)...now almost agitated.
mother: !!!!

mother :" hegitho adu ??" ( How was it ?)
me:"upppupp ithamma, mathe yellow ithu" ( it was salty salty, and yellow)
mother:" madhyadalli billee itha ?" ( was it white at the center ? )
me:"howdu!! ninge madodikke barutha ?"( Yeah ! do u know how to make it ?)....full wide smile !
mother: "ayyo ayyo paapi omelette thindu bandyeno ?!!" ( You evil sinner ! you ate omelette at aunty's place ????")
me: "eh ??? oh!"....shell shocked
mother:" ammma, nodu nin mommaga omelette thindbandidaane!!!" ( Mother !! look your grandson's eaten omlette and come home !)..... Fuming like a kettle...

now, now..this was not required! granny had had her quota of curses in the morning!

granny: "ene adu ?" ( What is it ? )
mother:"jaggi motte thindu bandidaane !" ( Jaggi has eaten EGG !! )
granny: !!!! "ayyo ayyo paapistha motte thindyeno !!! shiva shiva" ( oh you evil sinner !! did you eat EGG ???)

ME : kannappa, kaapadappa !!

me: "dosey ajji thindiddu naanu, motte alla !" ( No granny, it was dosey ! not egg !)

what followed was a sequence of slaps on my cheeks alternating with pinches on my ears, with tears rolling like there was a hole in my eyes. mother had already gone out to kick aunty, while granny took time off to give me some good old spanking.

well, rest as they say is history, but it was a evil day for me...probably that time of my life when i permanently switched the "to non-veg mode" off out of fear.

eons later, one day

while NEC's ad "anDe khao monday Khao, murgi ke anDe" was titillatingly well made, one news bit announced that day "now we get vegetarian eggs!"

i couldnt believe my eyes !!!! so finally the egg decided to be a vegetarian after all, i convinced myself, while turning towards my mother who also was keenly listening to it.

"ammma, motte non-veg alvanthe!" ( Look egg is not non-veg !). ... Almost sounding like my point was just vindicated.

Mother was quiet :D.....granny was busy driving the mosquitoes out.... and my taboo stayed on...
It's Veggie Delight ever since for me( with the exception of cakes :D), though it could have easily been V-egg-ie Delight had it not been for that fateful day!

We were there !

Saturday morning wasn't exactly the right time to wake up considering i had just shifted to a new house the previous night after some frenzied packing and unpacking. so i didn't. I woke up at 1pm , shivering and cursing the room heater that had decided to take a break. got down to see roomies in a state of slumber. kicking each other and later taking turns to get ready, we finally got to the train station at 4:30pm to catch the train to nyc on new year's eve.

The 1.5 hour journey to the city was enough for me to take a short nap while occasionally opening my left eye just to make sure my umbrella wasn't stolen - gotten used to checking stuff like this thanks to travelling by buses in bangalore. While my umbrella stay put, i did notice that one of my potato rolls was missing, only to realize i had munched on it before curling up like a caterpillar. The travel was pretty uneventful except for the frequent entry of hordes of college kids at every stop.

The train finally made it's way into the city, and came to a halt at the station. Everyone seemed to be in hurry with people running out of the train. Getting down the train, we moved along to the exit to reach the 32nd street.

Though i have been to the city a couple of times, it's a nice feeling to come back again and again. I guess its because it is more closer to cities in india in terms of the busy life people lead here. 42nd street would be times square we concluded, and started walking towards it. As we walked it became more and more apparent that the event as always would be a big drawer this time around too. police platoons, all in their blacks, and armoured vehicles were scattered everywhere, directing people to specific streets to decongest the traffic. By the time we were on 38th street, we knew we were late by a few hours, when policemen started announcing "This Street's filled, take the next one !". running in every possible direction, we finally reached the Broadway Avenue. 42nd street was ten streets away now, and a sea of crowd in front puzzled us no less. The clock still showing 7pm, we had a long way to go before we could actually reach the point where "The Ball" drops. Cold as it was, in no time we were stuck in the crowd, without an inch to move, literally. I have to say, i have never seen such a crowd in my entire life. It seemed like every street was filled to the hilt. 750000 surely definitely could. i vaguely remember ulsoor festival in bangalore bringing in such huge crowds.

Security was tight, with police asking us to unzip our jackets, and in a few more places stopping people from getting backpacks. While a part of every road was cordoned off for free movement of the security personnel, the mounted police did take some time off to show off their well kempt horses to the crowd. The mounted police always draws a crowd, but this was no time for a photo-op. Huge Screens were put up on every street intersecting the broadway avenue. while a lot of stuff was happening on the stage put up on times square, which we saw on the screens, i hardly knew anyone who performed except mariah carey. Well at -2 Celcius, one has to commend her for wearing what she wore ! A big sign atop the stage screamed "MC" in stylized writing.

It was still 9pm, with no sign of the crowd moving any closer to 42nd street, while we were still stuck at 51st street. It did look calm and serene until then, what with people chatting away to glory all around us. Then came the big push from behind. whether it was a simmering energy that built up in due time or it was a deleberate push, i was thrown like a ping pong ball towards the huge man in front, falling flat on his back like a mosquito zapped by a net. with the fat man having nowhere to go he decided to push me back instead. Grrrrr. The rampaging crowd was merciless, and i had to virtually wriggle through my way sidewards to get a breather. the fat man stay put, giving a weak smile mumbling a "sorry". Without an inch to move, my friend, stuck in the crowd, later confessed to swallowing the gum he was chewing after failing to reach the side of the road to dispose it.

The crowd was now restless and crazy. while a lot of people started losing stuff, a few were losing their mind too. a few college girls jumped on to people to perch themselves on hapless shoulders; it sure gave them a clear view of the crowd. Shouting out incoherently, most were trying to call out their dear ones who were either stuck streets away, or had no idea where they were. Buildings along the street had turned into platforms for novice artists to show their talent, with a few standing behind glass windows trying to act weird and draw attention.

With every hour that went by, the temperature went down. Finally one college kid spotted "The Ball" , but only it's tiny reflection on the facade of a building. In her enthusiasm, she started pointing at it while drawing curious onlookers. funny as it seemed people were more happy watching the small reflection, than the huge screen that showed the same thing ! hell, we might as well have watched the whole thing on TV, in the cozy comforts of our home!

Back home in india, on new year's eve 2005 and before, whenever i saw celebrations at times square and the streets filled with people, i used to think that everyone there were having a great timeout there. I was here this time, and was slightly dissapointed. chilly as it was, was'nt the best time to be out, apart from being hungry, shivering, and having less than an inch of space to move on a street that wasn't even times square!

New year's eve celebrations in bangalore concentrates on Brigade road which is lit all along, and the crowd parties all night. However, the crowd goes berserk after 12 and we have had to run for cover to escape the hooligans who will not stop at breaking anything they find on their way. Our group of friends used to get together for a good dinner before zooming past home as soon as the clock struck 12.

After a long wait, the clocked ticked 12 and the ball dropped, flares jetting out of it in all directions with fireworks filling the sky. It seemed like the crowd was just waiting for it to get over, and dispersed almost immediately. wishing each other we started running towards the station again. caught the 2am train to reach by 4am.

Much as i would like to brush this off as a dissapointment, i can't but help acknowledge the efficient way in which NYPD handled the whole event. The amount of planning, the sheer strength and the kind of emergency systems that were in place...hmmm that was a first for me, otherwise i have been used to seeing policemen in bangalore wading long thick sticks scaring themselves more than the average individual during such events.

The other thing that was great was the crowd. Though i missed the actual event itself, the crowd was entertaining, and well behaved, which i hadnt expected at all.

That was new year's eve for me, not at times square, but near times square..... but, we were there !