Putting it Shortly!
for weeks now i hadn't as much as had a mosquito bite - a far cry from those bygone days when every midget that could walk on two legs could pull my leg if the situation so warranted.
It was fishy to say the least, and i did feel something was cooking, only this time i was the cook!
Trying to keep a low profile, just to let the sweet moment continue i spent quite a few weeks trying to be indifferent to the good things happening around.
....the lull before the storm isn't a saying to impress the storm....., it actually works!
Come last week, one of my friends enlightened me about a saloon that's started operating recently in our company and the various services it offers, including haircut and hair-color. impressed by what i had heard, i decided it was time for a makeover. Spike and burgandy is what it would be, i decided, both relatively new words i had picked up recently.
"Saturday bandbidi saar, neat aagi maadkotbidthini" (Come on saturday, i'll make sure it's done), the barber announced, when i enquired about the appointment.
visibly happy on seeing the barber's confidence, i dreamt of a dramatic look, that would make heads turn...
....well turn they did, ....mine!
Getting up early in the morning, my enthusiasm knew no bounds. The prospect of a Beckham look looming large, i had almost started practising handing over autographs. Hopping onto my bike, i drove past the busy traffic to reach the office 13 kms away, and the barber's den on time.
a swanky area with two king size seats, the saloon was an eye-catcher. The barber letting me in, asked me to check out the colors handing me a book. With only burgandy on my mind, i flipped through the book, that had bunches of hair in different colors stuck on each page with names written below, and i announced "burgandy irli"....The barber looking a bit contemplative, said "brown color maadskoli saar, chenaagiruthe "....(get it done in brown, it'll look fantastic), and showed me a color, with a number written "5.6" on it....
...The color looked fine, but the barber's ability didn't, so i confirmed with him "idey color barutha ?" (will the hair color looks exactly like this ?)..Turning his head like a ball on a pinnion, he nodded saying "aadre nimge 4.5 haaktini, adey chenaagirathe" ( i think 4.5 will be good for you)....
Assuming no harm with that, i agreed to it, asking him to first give me a spike cut, and then color the hair.
"Heg beko haag maadthini neevu araamagi rest thagoli saar" (rest assured saar, i'll get the job done!), he promised.
While he did some adjustments to the machine, i went into a slumber to let him get along with his job.
Running his machine all over my head, pieces of my well kempt hair fell off without a protest.
Opening my eyes a few seconds later, i saw a bald human staring at me, looking quite funny.....until i realized i was staring at the mirror!
"Spike heliddu naanu, yaakri ella cut maadbitri ?" , i protested ! ( i had asked for a spike, why have you cut everything ?)
tapping his machine to let the stuck hair fall off, the barber in characteristic coolness replied, "yaak saar bejaar aitha ?" ( why saar, are u dissapointed ?)
"bejaar aaa ?? koodle illa, spike antha helidde alva ?" ( Dissapointed ! there isn't any hair left! i had asked for a spike cut!)
"illa saar, naanu inna mugsillla, mugsida mele heli hegide antha" ( oh! let me finish, then you can judge me!)
"spike ge standing irbeku saar, standing-u, adikke short beku" ( for spike the hair should be cut real short, so that it "stands"), he continued...
After what looked like 10 minutes of incessant chopping, the barber dropped his axe down asking me to review his work. with a little more than a centimeter of hairs length above my forehead, and no hair above the ears, i looked like i had been robbed off my hair by a novice thief.
gaining composure soon, i shouted back "Yenri maadideera ???? kooodlella hogbittidyalla!" (what have u done, there isn't any hair at all!)
"Saar, next time banbidi neat aagi maadkodthini..iga first time alva adikke swalpa jaasthi cut aagoithu" ( come next time saar i'll do it better..it's my first time, so i cut a little more!)
...oh first time bonus i presumed, literally fuming !
"first time aaaaaaaaaa ??????".....
The cheeky moron sheepishly accepted "Howdu saar, inobru raja"... (yes sir, the other person is on leave!)
DAMN !...what had i done with myself...i was thinking fast, deciding and re-deciding whether to shave the head completely...and then holding back thinking of the fate my friend had to endure when he had had his head shaven for the first time...
the barber sensing my distress, spoke "Saaar color maadkondbidi ella sari hoguthe" (get it colored, it'll become allright)
"koodle illa, color nun thale ga hatchtheera ?" (there isn't any hair left, will you color my head ?!), i retorted...
I couldn't believe the reply i got back for this...
he said "Alla saar isht doora bandideera eraDu maadkond hogbidi.. thirga yaak barthira.." ( Oh ho! you have come so far, get it colored..why do u want to come again !)
....coming again was out of question, but fixing the current disaster was ..
"Will the color help?" i asked, hoping for yet another emphatic reply, and yet another disaster...
"Oh yes, you'll be shocked to see when it's done", he replied back in kannada...
"ok!"
....45 minutes later, he washed my HEAD, since there wasn't any hair left anyway, and put the dim yellow lights on....bleary eyed i looked at the mirror, and saw what looked like an orange that seemed to have planted itself on my head....
turning to another customer who had come in for a haircut and coloring, the barber asked "Chenaagi kaanthaare alva ?" (doesn't he look good !)...
face tightened, the guy replied back "just give me a shave, i'll come back some other day..."
..i got the drift....
A few faces did turn on my way back home, but i got nothing of it until i reached home when my father opened the door and announced "Eno biddide nodu thale mele kempage!" (something's fallen on your head..it's all red).... innocently....
:(( ...... it wasn't working at all...
mother came in shortly, and although stunned by my looks, chose not to speak until questioned...
invariably, i asked "hegidyamma cutting-u ?" ( how's the cutting ? )
"swalpa belkalli hodre onthara kaanuthe, illandre kathlalli jaasthi gothagolla bidu..HAHAHA" ( it looks a bit odd in light, but i think it'll look just fine in the dark..HAHAHA)
...ah that's a consolation..imagine looking bad even in the dark, with that blaring color on my head....
The next few days went in endless teasing and mocking ..mails were shot to all the near and dear ones by colleagues at office, and people made a beeline to observe the phenomenon. One girl calling me up said "eh elloo hogbeda igle barthini iru! HAHAHAHAAHAHA" ( hey don't go anywhere, i'm coming right away ....! HAHAHAAHAHAHAA)..how insensitive, one might argue..while another friend replied back to the mail "Jags, whom are you hiding from, by getting this hair-style ?"
...and the torture continues....
....tring tring....... "HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA.....a little curl of what is left, and u'll enter the endangered species list"...
It was fishy to say the least, and i did feel something was cooking, only this time i was the cook!
Trying to keep a low profile, just to let the sweet moment continue i spent quite a few weeks trying to be indifferent to the good things happening around.
....the lull before the storm isn't a saying to impress the storm....., it actually works!
Come last week, one of my friends enlightened me about a saloon that's started operating recently in our company and the various services it offers, including haircut and hair-color. impressed by what i had heard, i decided it was time for a makeover. Spike and burgandy is what it would be, i decided, both relatively new words i had picked up recently.
"Saturday bandbidi saar, neat aagi maadkotbidthini" (Come on saturday, i'll make sure it's done), the barber announced, when i enquired about the appointment.
visibly happy on seeing the barber's confidence, i dreamt of a dramatic look, that would make heads turn...
....well turn they did, ....mine!
Getting up early in the morning, my enthusiasm knew no bounds. The prospect of a Beckham look looming large, i had almost started practising handing over autographs. Hopping onto my bike, i drove past the busy traffic to reach the office 13 kms away, and the barber's den on time.
a swanky area with two king size seats, the saloon was an eye-catcher. The barber letting me in, asked me to check out the colors handing me a book. With only burgandy on my mind, i flipped through the book, that had bunches of hair in different colors stuck on each page with names written below, and i announced "burgandy irli"....The barber looking a bit contemplative, said "brown color maadskoli saar, chenaagiruthe "....(get it done in brown, it'll look fantastic), and showed me a color, with a number written "5.6" on it....
...The color looked fine, but the barber's ability didn't, so i confirmed with him "idey color barutha ?" (will the hair color looks exactly like this ?)..Turning his head like a ball on a pinnion, he nodded saying "aadre nimge 4.5 haaktini, adey chenaagirathe" ( i think 4.5 will be good for you)....
Assuming no harm with that, i agreed to it, asking him to first give me a spike cut, and then color the hair.
"Heg beko haag maadthini neevu araamagi rest thagoli saar" (rest assured saar, i'll get the job done!), he promised.
While he did some adjustments to the machine, i went into a slumber to let him get along with his job.
Running his machine all over my head, pieces of my well kempt hair fell off without a protest.
Opening my eyes a few seconds later, i saw a bald human staring at me, looking quite funny.....until i realized i was staring at the mirror!
"Spike heliddu naanu, yaakri ella cut maadbitri ?" , i protested ! ( i had asked for a spike, why have you cut everything ?)
tapping his machine to let the stuck hair fall off, the barber in characteristic coolness replied, "yaak saar bejaar aitha ?" ( why saar, are u dissapointed ?)
"bejaar aaa ?? koodle illa, spike antha helidde alva ?" ( Dissapointed ! there isn't any hair left! i had asked for a spike cut!)
"illa saar, naanu inna mugsillla, mugsida mele heli hegide antha" ( oh! let me finish, then you can judge me!)
"spike ge standing irbeku saar, standing-u, adikke short beku" ( for spike the hair should be cut real short, so that it "stands"), he continued...
After what looked like 10 minutes of incessant chopping, the barber dropped his axe down asking me to review his work. with a little more than a centimeter of hairs length above my forehead, and no hair above the ears, i looked like i had been robbed off my hair by a novice thief.
gaining composure soon, i shouted back "Yenri maadideera ???? kooodlella hogbittidyalla!" (what have u done, there isn't any hair at all!)
"Saar, next time banbidi neat aagi maadkodthini..iga first time alva adikke swalpa jaasthi cut aagoithu" ( come next time saar i'll do it better..it's my first time, so i cut a little more!)
...oh first time bonus i presumed, literally fuming !
"first time aaaaaaaaaa ??????".....
The cheeky moron sheepishly accepted "Howdu saar, inobru raja"... (yes sir, the other person is on leave!)
DAMN !...what had i done with myself...i was thinking fast, deciding and re-deciding whether to shave the head completely...and then holding back thinking of the fate my friend had to endure when he had had his head shaven for the first time...
the barber sensing my distress, spoke "Saaar color maadkondbidi ella sari hoguthe" (get it colored, it'll become allright)
"koodle illa, color nun thale ga hatchtheera ?" (there isn't any hair left, will you color my head ?!), i retorted...
I couldn't believe the reply i got back for this...
he said "Alla saar isht doora bandideera eraDu maadkond hogbidi.. thirga yaak barthira.." ( Oh ho! you have come so far, get it colored..why do u want to come again !)
....coming again was out of question, but fixing the current disaster was ..
"Will the color help?" i asked, hoping for yet another emphatic reply, and yet another disaster...
"Oh yes, you'll be shocked to see when it's done", he replied back in kannada...
"ok!"
....45 minutes later, he washed my HEAD, since there wasn't any hair left anyway, and put the dim yellow lights on....bleary eyed i looked at the mirror, and saw what looked like an orange that seemed to have planted itself on my head....
turning to another customer who had come in for a haircut and coloring, the barber asked "Chenaagi kaanthaare alva ?" (doesn't he look good !)...
face tightened, the guy replied back "just give me a shave, i'll come back some other day..."
..i got the drift....
A few faces did turn on my way back home, but i got nothing of it until i reached home when my father opened the door and announced "Eno biddide nodu thale mele kempage!" (something's fallen on your head..it's all red).... innocently....
:(( ...... it wasn't working at all...
mother came in shortly, and although stunned by my looks, chose not to speak until questioned...
invariably, i asked "hegidyamma cutting-u ?" ( how's the cutting ? )
"swalpa belkalli hodre onthara kaanuthe, illandre kathlalli jaasthi gothagolla bidu..HAHAHA" ( it looks a bit odd in light, but i think it'll look just fine in the dark..HAHAHA)
...ah that's a consolation..imagine looking bad even in the dark, with that blaring color on my head....
The next few days went in endless teasing and mocking ..mails were shot to all the near and dear ones by colleagues at office, and people made a beeline to observe the phenomenon. One girl calling me up said "eh elloo hogbeda igle barthini iru! HAHAHAHAAHAHA" ( hey don't go anywhere, i'm coming right away ....! HAHAHAAHAHAHAA)..how insensitive, one might argue..while another friend replied back to the mail "Jags, whom are you hiding from, by getting this hair-style ?"
...and the torture continues....
....tring tring....... "HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA.....a little curl of what is left, and u'll enter the endangered species list"...
posted by Jagadish at 12:30 PM
34 comments
