Tip-toe Dracula
Was going through some of Calvin and Hobbes cartoon strips. The author, Bill Waterson, is truly talented in recognizing stuff which kids do, and also their thinking. Many a times i see myself in Calvin, at least the initial years of my life. Looking back, being the youngest kid i guess i was a pest at home :D, and sure was a pain to many outside :D.
I was in 2nd standard when there was this offer to exchange 3 chocolate wrappers for a gift of our choice. I had painfully eaten up those dung smelling chocolates in my attempt to garner those wrappers, and ran to the shopkeeper to exchange it for my gift. There were a few choices: a pink doll, a box of those dirty chocolates again(without wrappers), and a set of dracula plastic teeths. Realizing i had no choice, i picked the set of Dracula teeths.
Determined to use it against my enemies, i planned for a deadly night attack on one thug who lived in the neighbourhood. After careful planning, i decided to drop the idea of a night attack, after i realized that i was as afraid of scaring him, as he was of being scared, given the deathly darkness at night. A torch could have done the trick i thought, but it would look very silly for a dracula to be running around with a torch, i concluded. Moreover, i was more afraid of running into a Dracula myself, given the pulp-fiction stories i was fed with as a child, by offshore aunties.
It was a saturday morning, a holiday, and I just tried it on to see if it fit properly, and it fit amazingly well, as though it was made for my teeths. Since it was white as a real tooth, it looked all the more believable. Thought of first scaring my mother who was cooking in the kitchen, then realized that it would be too risky at this age to run fast enough to escape just in case she took offense of my overgrown teeths. So i just dropped in to check if she was in a good mood to accept the scare i was about to give.
"maa...." ....and a goofy smile, uncharacteristic of a dracula.
"oh !...Juggi, Hogi 1 kg akki thagond baa..." ( Go to the shop, and get a kg of rice )....my mother ordered without an iota of surprise at my deathly looks. 2 foot draculas are hard to come by even in stale horror stories !
The smiling dracula obeyed with a big bow, and retreated gracefully with the 5 rupee note in hand. Hoping to scare someone else, i thought of removing the plastic tooth for now, and use it later. Unluckily for me, try hard as i may, the plastic tooth wouldn't come out, since i had pressed it too deep into my kiddish canines. Scared that i would be beaten to pulp if my mother became aware of the situation, i decided to go all the way to the rice trader praying nothing untoward would happen.
The 2 minute fame that i had hoped to gather by scaring someone had now turned around to bite me back where it hurt most. Thinking of the irony, i walked into the rice trader's shop.
The Rice Trader was a portly man, with a bald pate, who sat all his life on that seat which his son, the thug i spoke about earlier , was hoping to capture in future. The old man had amassed enough wealth by selling rice and stones together, and almost had his own set of weights for measurements, which far from being accurate looked more like hardened cow dungs.
"Yenri esht dina beku nimge saala vaapas maadodikke ?" (how many days to you need to return the money you borrowed?) ...bellowed the rice trader at a customer in front of me.
"Neev kodo kallu mannige, dudd badlu chaavti nall hoDibeku !"(for the stones and sand you give, we should give you a lash, instead of cash).... the round aunty bellowed right back, widening his cave like nose into an awkward circle.
Both went into a heated argument, and finally the rice trader shunted off the customer giving her the 2 kg of rice+stones. Of all the days, i had to choose this day to transform myself to a dracula.
"yen beko hudga ?" (what do you want, boy ?)
careful about not opening my mouth, i indicated to him with my eyes at the rice grain sack, with my index finger up, indicating 1 kg.
"Bai ilva ? yen beku helu !" (dont you speak, tell me what you want !!)
scared out of my boots, i tried to get out an unassuming smile. Try as i may, it was the hardest thing to do, trying to speak with a half closed mouth.
"ond kg akki bekaagithu" ( I need a kg of rice)... i blurted out, with a weak smile, when the canines decided to pop-out unceremoniously.
That streak of fear and shock on his face could have made even a stone to roll with laughter, but i stood holding my breath both because i could not stop laughing, and more importantly could not stop fearing.
Jumping out of his seat, the rice trader bellowed:
"Yeno !! nun hatra ne aata aadthiya, chotudda idiya !!" (you 2 foot kid, trying to play tricks with me?) ....eyes red with anger.
the two seconds of lead time i had to get what he was trying to tell, made me realize that he was not behind me the dracula, but was behind me like a dracula. Without thought nor logic, i bulleted back home looking back only after i was safe from his clutches, albeit without the rice grains.
For the effort i had put to escape from the JAWS of death, it was satisfying to see the rice trader's face of momentary fear, for a dracula in shorts was the least he had expected to see in his evil life as a trader :D.
I was in 2nd standard when there was this offer to exchange 3 chocolate wrappers for a gift of our choice. I had painfully eaten up those dung smelling chocolates in my attempt to garner those wrappers, and ran to the shopkeeper to exchange it for my gift. There were a few choices: a pink doll, a box of those dirty chocolates again(without wrappers), and a set of dracula plastic teeths. Realizing i had no choice, i picked the set of Dracula teeths.
Determined to use it against my enemies, i planned for a deadly night attack on one thug who lived in the neighbourhood. After careful planning, i decided to drop the idea of a night attack, after i realized that i was as afraid of scaring him, as he was of being scared, given the deathly darkness at night. A torch could have done the trick i thought, but it would look very silly for a dracula to be running around with a torch, i concluded. Moreover, i was more afraid of running into a Dracula myself, given the pulp-fiction stories i was fed with as a child, by offshore aunties.
It was a saturday morning, a holiday, and I just tried it on to see if it fit properly, and it fit amazingly well, as though it was made for my teeths. Since it was white as a real tooth, it looked all the more believable. Thought of first scaring my mother who was cooking in the kitchen, then realized that it would be too risky at this age to run fast enough to escape just in case she took offense of my overgrown teeths. So i just dropped in to check if she was in a good mood to accept the scare i was about to give.
"maa...." ....and a goofy smile, uncharacteristic of a dracula.
"oh !...Juggi, Hogi 1 kg akki thagond baa..." ( Go to the shop, and get a kg of rice )....my mother ordered without an iota of surprise at my deathly looks. 2 foot draculas are hard to come by even in stale horror stories !
The smiling dracula obeyed with a big bow, and retreated gracefully with the 5 rupee note in hand. Hoping to scare someone else, i thought of removing the plastic tooth for now, and use it later. Unluckily for me, try hard as i may, the plastic tooth wouldn't come out, since i had pressed it too deep into my kiddish canines. Scared that i would be beaten to pulp if my mother became aware of the situation, i decided to go all the way to the rice trader praying nothing untoward would happen.
The 2 minute fame that i had hoped to gather by scaring someone had now turned around to bite me back where it hurt most. Thinking of the irony, i walked into the rice trader's shop.
The Rice Trader was a portly man, with a bald pate, who sat all his life on that seat which his son, the thug i spoke about earlier , was hoping to capture in future. The old man had amassed enough wealth by selling rice and stones together, and almost had his own set of weights for measurements, which far from being accurate looked more like hardened cow dungs.
"Yenri esht dina beku nimge saala vaapas maadodikke ?" (how many days to you need to return the money you borrowed?) ...bellowed the rice trader at a customer in front of me.
"Neev kodo kallu mannige, dudd badlu chaavti nall hoDibeku !"(for the stones and sand you give, we should give you a lash, instead of cash).... the round aunty bellowed right back, widening his cave like nose into an awkward circle.
Both went into a heated argument, and finally the rice trader shunted off the customer giving her the 2 kg of rice+stones. Of all the days, i had to choose this day to transform myself to a dracula.
"yen beko hudga ?" (what do you want, boy ?)
careful about not opening my mouth, i indicated to him with my eyes at the rice grain sack, with my index finger up, indicating 1 kg.
"Bai ilva ? yen beku helu !" (dont you speak, tell me what you want !!)
scared out of my boots, i tried to get out an unassuming smile. Try as i may, it was the hardest thing to do, trying to speak with a half closed mouth.
"ond kg akki bekaagithu" ( I need a kg of rice)... i blurted out, with a weak smile, when the canines decided to pop-out unceremoniously.
That streak of fear and shock on his face could have made even a stone to roll with laughter, but i stood holding my breath both because i could not stop laughing, and more importantly could not stop fearing.
Jumping out of his seat, the rice trader bellowed:
"Yeno !! nun hatra ne aata aadthiya, chotudda idiya !!" (you 2 foot kid, trying to play tricks with me?) ....eyes red with anger.
the two seconds of lead time i had to get what he was trying to tell, made me realize that he was not behind me the dracula, but was behind me like a dracula. Without thought nor logic, i bulleted back home looking back only after i was safe from his clutches, albeit without the rice grains.
For the effort i had put to escape from the JAWS of death, it was satisfying to see the rice trader's face of momentary fear, for a dracula in shorts was the least he had expected to see in his evil life as a trader :D.
posted by Jagadish at 11:36 AM
11 Comments:
Haha!! That was a cute one :) I'm assuming we're around the same age, so were those dung like chocolates fudgy by any chance?? I remember u used to get these He-man stickers with it back then. I ate some 100-odd ones and merrily uglified my poor cupboard with those horrendous stickers...not an inch of space left -- leaves me fond memories of my child genius artist instincts, when I see it every once in a way :) 1 kg atta at 5 bucks...man! now really...those were the days :)
Nice one!! I guess everybody says that childhood days are the best but you can't be a child forever. At best, we can continue to be a child at heart. Was this a shetty angadi? The ambience may pale infront of a foodworld or a big bazaar but it was something all of us enjoyed. One of the most strong memories is me getting back with kotambari(coriander leaves) when the need was for karibevu. Hu hu hu....
Wonderful Adventure...:-)) I wish I could write such a blog post, illustrated with my Childhood madness.
buahahaha
Deepa: :D :D....yeah i remember fudgy ! was very famous then, and more so because of those characters. i used to collect them too, and they were big stickers, werent they :). remember those cartoon programs and those mythological serials :)...i used to make a bow and arrow out of coconut leaf sticks every weekend hold it aloft in the air whenver there was a war going on on tv :D..
hmmmm...yeah childhood days were good :D...we used to get stuff even for 5 paisa :). Summer holidays used to be the best of all :D...all the trees in our neighbourhood would be property of our gang :)..and the games we used to play, hahaha, wish i could go back to those days.... :(
S: hmmm i dont know what angadi it was, but he was the government appointed rice trader or something. hmm...true big bazaar and stuff are comfy, but those 'petge' shops were glories of the bygone era :D...bangalore had such less population then, it was more like everyone knew everyone in the neighbourhood.
Yet another Juggi classic! Lo Juggs, you seem to be getting better by the second. Awesome dude.
I too remember eating dung like toffees, each with a zigsaw piece of a bigger poster, which when put together would form a big poster and win you a fortune - sometimes I just used to throw the toffees, after taking out the poster piece.
And you somehow manage to bring your unparalleled love for Bangalore into picture, always (sarcasm intended :-)).
SUPERALE... :-))))
suneel: thanks :)...start writing, hopefully you'll get ideas :)
Supreeth: Thanks lo :)...hmmm those stickers were pretty engrossing alva ? remember those offers ? eat 100 bubble gums, and you'll get a cricket set or a cycle or something like that !..people used to get those stuff in packets and distribute it in class and keep those labels with them....of course the gums were far from being chewable :D. Bangalore ? where ? :D
Thejas: thanks :)...what is superale ? :D..
Neeraja: thanks :)....hmmm, those were the days when being a pest paid off :D....including that video game i flicked from you :D....
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