City City Bang Bang - Part 1
City life brings with it a bag full of surprises that never seems to get empty. Having to live an almost independant life in this city was not something i had prepared for when i boarded the plane 2 months ago. The city is still a maze for me. Often on the wrong side of the road, literally (In India, it's right hand drive you see), it has been rather difficult to get the hang of the system here. Driving is one less thing i do not do here. Both an advantage and a disadvantage at times, it gives a lot more fodder to write though :)...
Being used to a city with a growing population, it took me some time to digest that my current city has a population of about 6000 ....hmmm, yeah, now 6001, a far cry from the 5+ million i used to deal with back in Bangalore. At first i thought this city was a small layout i was living in. In fact it is so small, i wont be surprised if some residents actually park their cars in the adjoining city, and have tea at home in our city. Take a reverse in your car and you are off city limits :D....the other day, while driving to office, we had to take a detour and unfortunatetly took two wrong turns and crossed two cities !
A small city, however, has its advantages, and that is you know everyone :D....almost every shopkeeper knows you, and every stranger is your friend. The lady at the burger shop nowadays does not even wait for my order, and shouts out an order at the sight of me, "One Veggie roll, Robert !".. :), or the doctor down the street who greets me with a 'Namae-stay !',who once rather excitedly told me that he worked for a year in Manipal Hospital, when i told him i was from Bangalore.
Local Newspapers are the funniest. Sunday headlines usually shout out loud, telling readers about a kitten called winky lost in the nearby wood, or how Daniel maintains his lawn by watering it every evening. Breaking news usually scale up to 'Mayor to pass city today, residents excited', and brings up some buzz to the sleepy city.
My accent has been a problem here ever since i landed. While i am pretty happy with my accent, it is rather difficult for many here to get it though. More often than not, i am usually seen repeating a sentence again and again for the person to understand. People find it especially difficult to get my name, and more so over the phone. Initially i tried to pronounce my name so that the person on the other side could get it.
Once i called a health insurance agent, and she asked
Lady: "your first name sir"
Me : "Jagadish"
Lady: " Sorry, can you spell it please ?"
Me: " j... a... g..a...d "
Lady: "sorry !"
Me: "Deeeeeeee!"
Lady:"ok"
I went again..thinking she lost track
ME:"J a G a D..i... s..... h."
Lady: " ok ...We are not able to find your record here sir"
Me: "can you please read out the name i gave you"
Lady: "it is Y..aye..g..a..B...i...ess..hetch.....yagabish !!"
Grrr....what rubbish !
Me: " no no, it is j a g a...d... i... s ....h.. j for john...aye...g.... a..... D for hmmm(trying to recollect some name here, and couldn't find one, so)...Dog... i.. s... h"
Lady: "sorry sir, i am not able to get it, here is my fax number, please send a fax with your name in it"
Me:"!!!...ok"
I have long given up pronouncing my name over the phone, so usually when people ask me my name over the phone i go straight like "J-for John, aye, Jee for god, aye, D for dog, i, ess, hetch".
Having to use all possible transportation, i often find myself asking people for directions. Some politely say 'Sorry, i do not know', and some even have walked me to the place in a few cases. On one instance i had to reach a place urgently, and had spent a good time circling around it and yet was unable to find the place. After looking to see if anyone was around to help me, i found an elderly man sitting on a wheel chair in the lobby of a building. Doubtful i went to him and asked him :
Me : "Excuse me, can you tell me where is Pocono road ?"
Man : "Sorry, i could not hear you"
raising my voice, i asked the same question
Me : " I need to go to Pocono road"
Man : " Sorry, i could not get you"
I thought the pronunciation problem had come back to bite me again.
Me: "I have to GO to PO CO NO road"....going slowly.... on my already late appointment.
Man: " Sorry, I still cannot hear you"
by now i was yelling the address out
Me : " POCONO !!, POCONO ROAD !"
The man calmly replied
"Sorry sir, i cannot hear you, I cannot hear anyone "
Me: stunned to silence
Man: " Do one thing, go to the first floor of this building and ask the lady there, she can hear"
looking up , i found to my horror the sentence "Center for speech and hearing" in small golden letters etched on the building. sigh !
Nodding is another problem, which i thought i didnt have until people started getting all the wrong signals. Well like many of my fellow indians, i too nod my head sidewards, as though the head was balancing on a pin. Drives people nuts like crazy here :D.
My first day at the client's office was very enlightining. after the meeting, i was speaking to one of my new teammates and discussing what work we'll be sharing,
teammate : "ok i'll take up this one, can you take this?"
I nodded, shaking my head sideways.
teammate, looking a bit startled, "Ok, i'll do that too, which will you do then ?"
me:"I'll do the one you told me to take up", i repeated.
teammate, looking even more startled, "are you sure ?"
the work didnt look like it would bite my neck off half way into it, so i gave a matter-of-fact look, and said "yes", and nodded sidewards again.
by now he was completely floored, lost for words, and finally blurted out "ok pal, you make up your mind soon i'll be back in a minute" :D
By the way, this city rocks away, in every way :)
Being used to a city with a growing population, it took me some time to digest that my current city has a population of about 6000 ....hmmm, yeah, now 6001, a far cry from the 5+ million i used to deal with back in Bangalore. At first i thought this city was a small layout i was living in. In fact it is so small, i wont be surprised if some residents actually park their cars in the adjoining city, and have tea at home in our city. Take a reverse in your car and you are off city limits :D....the other day, while driving to office, we had to take a detour and unfortunatetly took two wrong turns and crossed two cities !
A small city, however, has its advantages, and that is you know everyone :D....almost every shopkeeper knows you, and every stranger is your friend. The lady at the burger shop nowadays does not even wait for my order, and shouts out an order at the sight of me, "One Veggie roll, Robert !".. :), or the doctor down the street who greets me with a 'Namae-stay !',who once rather excitedly told me that he worked for a year in Manipal Hospital, when i told him i was from Bangalore.
Local Newspapers are the funniest. Sunday headlines usually shout out loud, telling readers about a kitten called winky lost in the nearby wood, or how Daniel maintains his lawn by watering it every evening. Breaking news usually scale up to 'Mayor to pass city today, residents excited', and brings up some buzz to the sleepy city.
My accent has been a problem here ever since i landed. While i am pretty happy with my accent, it is rather difficult for many here to get it though. More often than not, i am usually seen repeating a sentence again and again for the person to understand. People find it especially difficult to get my name, and more so over the phone. Initially i tried to pronounce my name so that the person on the other side could get it.
Once i called a health insurance agent, and she asked
Lady: "your first name sir"
Me : "Jagadish"
Lady: " Sorry, can you spell it please ?"
Me: " j... a... g..a...d "
Lady: "sorry !"
Me: "Deeeeeeee!"
Lady:"ok"
I went again..thinking she lost track
ME:"J a G a D..i... s..... h."
Lady: " ok ...We are not able to find your record here sir"
Me: "can you please read out the name i gave you"
Lady: "it is Y..aye..g..a..B...i...ess..hetch.....yagabish !!"
Grrr....what rubbish !
Me: " no no, it is j a g a...d... i... s ....h.. j for john...aye...g.... a..... D for hmmm(trying to recollect some name here, and couldn't find one, so)...Dog... i.. s... h"
Lady: "sorry sir, i am not able to get it, here is my fax number, please send a fax with your name in it"
Me:"!!!...ok"
I have long given up pronouncing my name over the phone, so usually when people ask me my name over the phone i go straight like "J-for John, aye, Jee for god, aye, D for dog, i, ess, hetch".
Having to use all possible transportation, i often find myself asking people for directions. Some politely say 'Sorry, i do not know', and some even have walked me to the place in a few cases. On one instance i had to reach a place urgently, and had spent a good time circling around it and yet was unable to find the place. After looking to see if anyone was around to help me, i found an elderly man sitting on a wheel chair in the lobby of a building. Doubtful i went to him and asked him :
Me : "Excuse me, can you tell me where is Pocono road ?"
Man : "Sorry, i could not hear you"
raising my voice, i asked the same question
Me : " I need to go to Pocono road"
Man : " Sorry, i could not get you"
I thought the pronunciation problem had come back to bite me again.
Me: "I have to GO to PO CO NO road"....going slowly.... on my already late appointment.
Man: " Sorry, I still cannot hear you"
by now i was yelling the address out
Me : " POCONO !!, POCONO ROAD !"
The man calmly replied
"Sorry sir, i cannot hear you, I cannot hear anyone "
Me: stunned to silence
Man: " Do one thing, go to the first floor of this building and ask the lady there, she can hear"
looking up , i found to my horror the sentence "Center for speech and hearing" in small golden letters etched on the building. sigh !
Nodding is another problem, which i thought i didnt have until people started getting all the wrong signals. Well like many of my fellow indians, i too nod my head sidewards, as though the head was balancing on a pin. Drives people nuts like crazy here :D.
My first day at the client's office was very enlightining. after the meeting, i was speaking to one of my new teammates and discussing what work we'll be sharing,
teammate : "ok i'll take up this one, can you take this?"
I nodded, shaking my head sideways.
teammate, looking a bit startled, "Ok, i'll do that too, which will you do then ?"
me:"I'll do the one you told me to take up", i repeated.
teammate, looking even more startled, "are you sure ?"
the work didnt look like it would bite my neck off half way into it, so i gave a matter-of-fact look, and said "yes", and nodded sidewards again.
by now he was completely floored, lost for words, and finally blurted out "ok pal, you make up your mind soon i'll be back in a minute" :D
more of the city later..
By the way, this city rocks away, in every way :)
posted by Jagadish at 6:05 AM
16 Comments:
Too good a post. I loved the "I can't hear anyone". It is like the joke wherein an illiterate goes for an eye test and he is asked to read and he replies no glasses are going to help him read!! Every place comes with its merits and demerits. As long as each day is a learning day, you should feel contented!! By the way, let me know when you find POCONO road or for that matter Vijayanagar!!
Haha! fun fun! quintessential Indian-in-USA problems I see! We'll probably have to teach them cretin before they understand us in one go :)Where are you btw? And all well I hope. Tata!
anonymous: :D..thanks! yeah, overall it has been good here till now, except for the absurdly high hotel room rent that i am paying :(
POCONO road i found out finally, and as for vijaynagar ;), i know it like the back of my hand :D.
Deepa: :D...hehe, yeah very much so. However, my resolve to stick to my accent has never been more stronger :). Its fun to see people blink like bulbs or hear the way they pronounce my name : JyagaDish ! :D
The place is Rockaway, NJ, more like ooty. Its good over here, except for the heavy rains that's been lashing the city since the last week.
News coverage was hilarious.
There was another hilarious segment which covered how a mentally disturbed man was mauled by a lion in a local zoo, when he entered its cage and tried to convert its religion to christianity. He started reading verses to the lion from a holy book and sprayed some water on it from a can. Luckily he survived with significant injuries.
Keep riting
/Kiran
oh ! that's crazy !, how did he get into the cage in the first place ?...
yeah, news here should be read to be believed, after all how much news can a city of 6k population generate everyday :D...
astonishingly, international news is given so less importance here, i wont be surprised if many here think Asia is the name of a wild east plant which snakes eat while riding home on an elephant.
hehehe.....same problems here buddo.... with the additional problem of 'j' being sung as 'y' here...due to spanish influence ;-). Hence, I tell'em "It is Thejas, like Jesus". Hence you have Dog...ish problems... I have Jesus problems....hehehe....
Yeh dil maange more ;-)
Long time... you just had good time in US talking to people who already know the language you speak...
I am here in China, communicating with body language... Its really fun and 98% of the population doesnt know english...
We signal Cab, Sit inside cab and ask him to drive straight by swinging the hand forward... Good thing is that they are very cooperative in such things...
Restaurants are major fun... almost all the dishes served here doesnt have salt, we need to ask salt explicitly and we have various signs at each restaurant... There are many other things...
But now we know which shop to visit, we have no issues... :-))
chindi Hagadish
are you all set for minneapolis? maja maadu hoodmele...
Thejas : hehe, yeah, same problem here, the 'J' in my name to gets converted to 'Y'. Wonder if it is just a 'spanish only' problem though :).
Suneel : oh yeah, it must be tough in china without knowing chinese, but then again one needs 50 years to learn chinese :).
manu : thanks :)...A little tensed about travelling to minneapolis. Reaching JFK in itself would be one hurdle i'll need to cross. In fact, i would have used a bus, a subway train, an air train, two aeroplanes and a car by the time i reach minneapolis !...now i am scared :(.
Let the scare scare you first... then, you scare the scare away so you need not get scared again...
Lo devru !! I envy your sense of humor.!!
Really funny post. I'm still lol....
VC: Thanks :)...i went through ur recent post about that phone conversation and you have a great sense of humor!
Hey J , thanks for the Dumbledore link .. interesting ...
Vc
:D..glad u liked it ;)...
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